Windows dressed up with toy trains, a colorful display.
Snowflakes falling, New York's calling.
Land, sea, or air, I joust can't wait to be there for Christmas in New York, New York."
--"Christmas in New York"
Reflections on Christmas Past and Present
For some reason, Christmas has always brought a bit of melancholy for me. I don't get seriously depressed, as some people do, but I don't full out enjoy it as many people seem to. I've always preferred Thanksgiving. In the past, that holiday brought my family together, with a great meal and good interaction among my parents, my brothers and their families, and me. We pretty much served the same meal as we did at Christmas, but the whole celebration seemed more relaxed. None of the materialism that makes Christmas so unpleasant to me. Even as a kid, I found Christmas to be somewhat anticlimactic. As I grew older and began to teach, I couldn't fully enjoy the days leading up to Christmas because of the pressures of end of semester grading, exams, etc. When I often didn't get out of school until December 22 and then had to do Christmas shopping, Christmas seemed to be more of a hassle than a pleasure. My Christmas spirit usually came late, if at all. Temperatures in the 70s or 80s usually didn't help me get in the mood either. I'm sure all my friends from the South can relate to the many times when we had the AC on earlier in the day so we could have a fire on Christmas Eve. Fortunately that's not the case in Western North Carolina.
I do, however, ultimately get into the Christmas spirit, albeit sometimes at the last minute. I am reminded of one Christmas many, many years ago when my friend Ann and I went to see the movie Scrooge on Christmas night. I came out of the theater very much in the mood for Christmas and wishing that I could relive the day, more "into" it all. Perhaps I'd learned a lesson from old Ebenezer himself. Last night's excursion to downtown Waynesville helped move me along this year. After a visit to one of the local breweries (two of their craft beers might have helped my mood), we walked the streets of downtown, enjoying carolers, one of the local high school bands, a reenactment of Bethlehem, horse drawn wagons full of little kids, and various other festive participants. Waynesville is a charming little town, and last night its Norman Rockwellian aspect really came through. I was glad to be living in such a laid back little community, and I couldn't help but compare it to what must be going on in Baton Rouge and other larger cities with people fighting traffic and crowds at the mall. As we drove into our own refuge on Dolata Lane, we were cheered by the sight of our little evergreen tree with its Christmas lights glowing in our yard. Since neither of us is going to be home for Christmas this year, we've kept our decorations to a minimum, but that little tree makes us smile.
Looking back over what I've written, I have to face the fact that one of the reasons Christmas is not as meaningful to me at this stage of my life is because I miss my parents. My friend Brenda talks about how hard it is to be an "orphan" even at our age. I miss my dad sitting quietly in an easy chair while eating his parched peanuts, taking joy in watching his grandkids. I miss being in the kitchen with my mom, chopping ingredients for cornbread dressing and nibbling on her wonderful peanut brittle. I miss all the Christmases with my brothers and their families when we were able to gather together, knowing even that that it would not always be so. I know circumstances change and people change and priorities change as the older generations pass and new ones are born and grow into their own lives, but it doesn't keep me from missing the old days..."Memories light the corners of my mind/Misty water-colored memories of the way we were." I miss you, Bill and Gladys.
On a brighter note, this year I have no papers to grade or exams to give or averages to compute. I am currently substitute teaching, but I can now say NO THANKS (and have done so) to working on that frantic Friday which is the last day before Christmas. As much as I usually enjoy herding cats (my euphemism for teaching middle school kids-- to whom I refer to myself as the Grinch's Grandma), I have decided not to engage in that craziness this coming Friday. That's definitely a benefit of retirement. And I am very much looking forward to our upcoming trip to New York City and New Haven to celebrate with Carol's daughter and son-in-law. Two and a half days of seeing the sights--store front windows, Radio City Music Hall, Times Square, the 9-11 Memorial--followed by a Christmas Eve service at Brick Presbyterian Church on Park Avenue (where her son-in-law is the organist!). That's going to be a pretty special Christmas, if you ask me!
Then, on Christmas Day, we'll take the train to New Haven for a few days. Yale Library, please be open!! I'll feel like a real big city girl, visiting the Big Apple then Yale!! It will probably be more excitement than this little old mountain lady can stand.
What Will Christmas Future Bring?
No one knows, of course, what future Christmases will bring. Will we entertain family for a Ridgehaven Christmas someday instead of always traveling to another destination? Will we have little ones sledding down our hill? Will we form our own new traditions? Today, right now, I pray for continued good health, for continued blessings too many to count, and for the opportunity to let the many people I love--family, friends old and new, former students-- KNOW I love them and always will. LOVE--that's what Christmas is all about, isn't it? If you take away all the trappings and hassles and distractions, we are celebrating the love that is the greatest gift of all. Now that's what I call a gift!!
Merry Christmas from Ridgehaven!!
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